There is a peculiar kind of anxiety that does not require failure to exist. Life may be stable, meaningful and even successful, yet still feel inadequate when compared with someone else’s journey. Experts say this feeling is becoming increasingly common in a culture where milestones are constantly visible and comparisons are only a scroll away.
According to psychotherapist Dr Chandni Tugnait, Founder and Director of Gateway of Healing, what many people experience today is not necessarily a lack of achievement but the anxiety of believing they are somehow behind schedule.
“Your life can be completely fine, good, and still feel inadequate the moment it is placed next to someone else's life.”
When anxiety disguises itself as ambition
One reason comparison anxiety often goes unnoticed is because it can look remarkably similar to ambition. The desire to do better, earn more or achieve bigger goals is not inherently unhealthy. The problem begins when motivation is driven by the fear of lagging behind rather than genuine personal aspiration.
Dr Tugnait explains that internally driven ambition often feels energising, while comparison-driven ambition tends to feel exhausting because the goalpost constantly shifts. However much one may achieve, there will always be somebody who is further along in their progress.
Why accomplishments no longer bring satisfaction
Another way that comparison culture impacts the way we experience things is by altering our experience of success and achievement. The next benchmark quickly takes over.
Whether it is a promotion, marriage, home ownership or financial goal, achievements can lose their emotional significance when they are immediately measured against what others have already accomplished.
Living in the ‘waiting room’ of life
Experts say one of the biggest consequences of comparison anxiety is that it prevents people from fully appreciating the present moment. Life begins to feel like a waiting room for a future version of success rather than something worth experiencing now.
When attention remains fixed on where life should be by a certain age or stage, the reality of where it currently stands often receives very little appreciation.
Taking back control from the pressure timeline
Comparison culture creates more than anxiety. It can also create chronic dissatisfaction, even when life is objectively going well. The timeline followed by many people is often driven by social expectations, family stories, or even online comparisons, but not personal beliefs.
It is believed that the path out of this belief system does not require an overhaul of life but merely the decision to continuously view success from one's personal point of view.
As Dr Tugnait rightly puts it, reclaiming power does not happen in a moment of revolution, but through making the choice time and time again.
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