India's star fast bowler, Mohammed Shami, has, for the first time, revealed that he had thought of committing suicide at least thrice but did not take the extreme step because of the "love and affection" of millions of fans. Replying to questions from India TV Chairman and Editor-in-Chief Rajat Sharma on his show 'Aap Ki Adalat', Shami made several disclosures about how, during the World Cup, he went to hospital to take injections, while his teammates returned to their hotel in a bus. He also spoke about his relations with MS Dhoni, Virat Kohli, Rohit Sharma, Ishant Sharma and other players.
Suicidal thoughts
"Socha zaroor, par hua nahin, yeh shukr hai varna World Cup miss ho jata mere sey, kyunki jab wo thought aaya tha mere dimaag mein ki yeh time hai life ke end ka, jis cheez ke liye mujhe itna naam diya, jis cheez ke liye media mere pichhe hai, usko chhod ke is jump ke chakkar mein. Woh thought, woh pyaar yaad aayin. Socha chalo isko choodo, chalo game me lagte hain phir," said the fast bowler. (The thought came to my mind, but it did not happen, thank God, otherwise I'd have missed the World Cup. The thought came to my mind to end my life, but then I decided this game which gave me so much name; why should I jump (to death), forgetting all these? I thought of the love and affection. Then I decided, forget this and focus on my game.)
Mohammed Shami spoke in detail about his long-running legal tangle with his estranged wife, Hasin Jahan, whom he had married in 2014, but they both lived separately four years later.
When Rajat Sharma asked about the domestic violence complaint filed by his wife in 2018, Shami replied, "Life teaches you many things. I admit it was the biggest mistake of my life. I don't blame anybody; it was my fate."
Asked how he managed to focus on his game despite this family dispute, Shami replied, "It was really difficult. It pinches you. When you play a highly competitive game, you have to switch to both sides to keep watch on what's happening there and what's going on here; you work under a lot of pressure."
Asked whether he ever tried to start negotiations to end the dispute, Shami replied, "Nobody wants a quarrel at home, especially when you are serving for your country; you don't want unwanted stress. Koshish zaroor ki thi, ab yeh saamne wale par hai ki woh kya chahte hain, kya nahin. Nahin karna hoga toh theek hai. Patience rakhna hoga apne upar."
Asked about abusive things that were said about him on social media, Shami replied, "Kharaab cheezen toh boli jaati hai, par aajkal woh cheezen boli jaati hai, jo nahin hoti. Usse sabse zyada darr rehta hai. Kal main ek photo dekh raha tha; mujhe khud ko nahin pata main kab gaya hoon wahan pe. Mujhe pe jitne ilzaam lage hain pichhle 6-7 saal me, shayad itne ilzaam toh kisi terrorist par bhi nahin lage honge. Kuch nahin kar sakta isme main."
When Rajat Sharma said top players like Kapil Dev, Dhoni, and Virat Kohli have publicly said that allegations of domestic violence against you cannot be true, Mohammed Shami replied, "In our home, we celebrate more when a girl is born. Boys are also born in our family, but when a girl is born, we have a different type of 'jashn' (celebration). I have never seen my papa or dada even scolding a woman in our family. Theek hai, isko naseeb maan lo, jo hona hai, ho jaaye. Hum maan ke chal rahe hain usi cheez ko."
Rajat Sharma: So you thought of committing suicide?
Mohd Shami: It was a very difficult time, yaar. When Papa was alive, we three brothers did not even know in which banks we had our accounts. Achanak se ye sab ho jana bahut difficult tha. Aisa villain ban gaya ki samajh me hi nahin aaya kya hua. Shukr hai ooper wale ka ki family ne, doston ne saath diya. Aaj woh aalaa tali. (on suicide) Socha zaroor, hua nahin, yeh shukr hai. Varna World Cup ho jata mere se (laughs)."
On Virat Kohli
When Rajat Sharma reminded Shami that Virat Kohli had once complained that he was 'lazy' and used to sleep when he went for a massage, the bowler replied, "Your body gets tired when you play a Test match. I may have caught a nap, but to get the 'lazy' tag, I do not mind, but I have the toughest job. I run the most. Whenever a situation arises, the fast bowler is called, but off the field, agar banda relaxed hai, toh kya harz hai, yaar?. It's Virat's harkat to describe me as 'lazy' or 'lala', though I am neither fat nor do I sell jewellery. If you are in the Indian team, you are bound to get some name."
On why Virat Kohli was smiling cleverly when Shami was replying to the commentator's questions in English, the bowler replied, "Bol diya toota-foota jo yaad tha. 'Yes, I had taken Virat with me during the New Zealand series,' I told him. 'Chal bhai, because the New Zealanders have quite a different accent.' Main koshish kar raha tha answers dene ki. Jab khatam ho gaya, toh Virat ne poocha, mujhe kyun laya tha?"
Rajat Sharma: But the commentator told you in Hindi, accha English bola?
Shami: Sir, try karta hoon. I never feel ashamed. When you do not know a language, then say clearly you don't know. Hindi mein baat kar lo. Hum Pakistaniyon ki tarah toh hain nahin. (The audience laughed). English aaye na aaye phir bhi bol rahe hain toh. Woh humse nahin ho payega."
Rajat Sharma: Yes, people could not understand what Babar Azam wanted to say in English?
Shami: Usme aur zyada mazaak banega aapka. Jab aapko pata hai aap Hindi me ya English me comfortable hain, toh aap saamne bol do; toh mujhe nahin lagta hai koi harz hai, koi sharm waali baat hai.
Asked why Virat Kohli touched his mom's feet after winning the Champions Trophy, Shami replied, "Actually Virat used to speak to my mom over speaker phone. Mummy had never met him personally because my family rarely goes to see matches. They came to watch after 7-8 years. Mummy had gone to watch the Champions Trophy match. Mummy was called to the ground. I told Virat, mummy aayi hai. (Then he touched her feet). This is that photograph.
His speech at his debut
Asked what he said when he was asked to give a speech on his debut inside the dressing room by his mates, Shami replied, "Woh toh bahut dangerous tha. Jitne bhi stars they, all of them were sitting in front, and Yuvi Pa made me stand on a chair. English aati nahin hai, sabki language bol nahin sakta, aur saamne sab aise chehre they jinko TV par hi dekha hai. I stood and asked, 'Hindi me bolun toh chalega?' I could only speak four sentences. I said, Bhai log, aap se jitna bhi ho saka, utna seekhne ki koshish karoonga."
On Ishant Sharma
When Rajat Sharma said, Ishant Sharma once said, if you want Shami to recover, then allow him to play PUBG and eat mutton, nalli, nihari, the bowler laughed, saying, "We do the job in the same department, and yet Ishant says this. Our bonding is at a different level. I, Ishant, Bhuvneshwar, Umesh, Mohit. Hum saare fast bowlers alag level key. We sat at the back inside the bus, aur agey waley insaan ki itni himmat nahin, coach ki bhi, ki peechey aake baat kare. Itne sharif hain hum log, jab hum baat karte hain. I can never forget this bonding in my life."
Playing in the 2015 World Cup while taking injections
Asked by Rajat Sharma whether he was seriously injured before the 2015 World Cup and yet he played games by taking injections, Mohammed Shami said, "We had an open discussion with our physio. Everybody knew the condition of my knee; I had undergone cartilage surgery, and there was a crack in my knee bone. I was supposed to return home after spending four and a half months in Australia for the series. During the open discussion, we were told Ishant was injured, and at least one bowler will have to stay. I told the doc, 'I can play, but tell me whether this knee will stop me in the middle of my game.' Whenever I play a game, I make sure I never leave the game in the middle. The doctor assured me that I can play the games with this knee. I agreed to play by taking painkillers. I played all seven games in the World Cup by taking medicines. After every match, 50 ml of fluid used to be taken out from my knee. After every match, the team bus used to go to the hotel, and I used to take the car to the hospital, take an injection, and return to the hotel, and after taking 3 days' rest, on the fifth day, I played the match. This was my entire schedule."
Also read: Shami defends himself in Aap Ki Adalat against Kohli's 'lazy' remark
