Two individuals may come closer through their similar musical tastes or love for a particular movie or restaurant. However, having common interests does not automatically guarantee a solid relationship. With time, both friends' hobbies and preferences may change; however, there will always be things about them that make the friendship safe and trustworthy.
The basic components of a true friendship include trust, honesty, consistency and self-expression. Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M), Psychotherapist, Life Alchemist, Coach & Healer, Founder & Director, Gateway of Healing, brings forward several signs that indicate if a friendship is really healthy enough to be kept.
They don't keep score
A healthy friendship does not feel like a constant calculation of who did what for whom. A good friend helps because they genuinely care and does not keep a mental list of favours that can later be used against you. They do not remind you about every time they showed up for you or make you feel that their care comes with an expectation of something in return. This kind of uncalculated generosity can make a friendship feel secure rather than transactional.
They tell you the truth kindly
A friend does not always have to agree with everything you say or do. Sometimes, genuine friendship means hearing something you may not want to hear. What really matters here is how one communicates this honesty. An excellent friend will highlight an unpleasant issue, but in such a way as to make one see that they are doing so out of their care for one. Although validation can make one feel good for some time, honest discussions will prove more beneficial in the long run.
They don't disappear when life gets busy
It is not always easy to sustain friendships in times when work and other obligations tend to dominate one’s life. It is not a sign that the relationship has lost significance. A simple act of checking up on an individual can mean a great deal more than just being around in good times. It may be that a small effort made by a person to connect with their friend during tough times counts for more than anything else.
You don't have to perform around them
One of the greatest aspects of a true friendship is the security in knowing that there is no need for you to always be your best self. It is okay for you to come when you are tired, indecisive, shy or just not yourself, without having to fear that this will impact the friendship. You are not under any pressure to always entertain, be successful and be perfect. This feeling of relaxation, where there is no concern over how you are portraying yourself, is among the greatest aspects of a friendship.
They respect your boundaries and privacy
Proximity with another person does not imply that they have the right to know everything about you. The right friend will know that people have boundaries and will respect them without making you feel guilty. The right friend does not pressure you to spill out information that is supposed to remain your secret. They value whatever information you share with them by keeping it confidential rather than gossiping or using the information against you.
This shows that they respect both what you share and don’t share.
Shared interests are only the beginning
Having common interests can make a friendship easier to start, but it is not necessarily what keeps it going. People grow, move to different cities, change careers and develop new interests. A friendship that survives those changes usually has something deeper holding it together.
The real green flags can be much quieter: a friend who does not keep score, tells you the truth with kindness, checks in when life gets difficult, lets you be yourself and respects your boundaries. These qualities may not make for the most exciting Instagram post, but they are often the ones that make a friendship worth keeping.
Also read:
Why letting go of people can be one of the healthiest decisions you make
