Becoming a mother is often discussed almost entirely through the lens of the baby. From pregnancy preparation and birth to the conversations that follow, much of the attention naturally goes towards the child's health and wellbeing. But somewhere in the middle of all this, the woman who has just given birth can get overlooked.
The mental health challenges that can accompany new motherhood are still not discussed as openly as they should be. While a new mother is expected to adjust to her baby's needs, she is also navigating a major change in her own identity, routine and emotional world. Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M), Psychotherapist, Life Alchemist, Coach & Healer, Founder & Director, Gateway of Healing, highlights some of the aspects of new motherhood that often remain unspoken.
The identity shift can be disorienting
Before having a baby, a woman may have a career, social life, established routines and a clear sense of who she is. After the baby arrives, much of that can change almost overnight.
She now has a completely new role to navigate, while also trying to hold on to the person she was before motherhood. Finding a way for these two identities to coexist can take time.
That sense of disorientation does not necessarily mean something is wrong. It can simply reflect the scale of the transition. Becoming a mother brings a huge change to everyday life, relationships and one's understanding of oneself.
The pressure to feel happy can make things harder
New motherhood is often accompanied by an expectation of happiness and joy. While those emotions can certainly be part of the experience, they are not the only ones.
Exhaustion, grief over aspects of life that existed before the baby, or complicated feelings about one's new identity can also emerge. Yet when a woman believes she is supposed to feel only happiness, acknowledging those emotions can become difficult.
The difference between what a new mother thinks she should be feeling and what she actually feels can itself become a source of distress.
New mothers need emotional support too
Practical help with the baby and household is important, but emotional support matters just as much. New mothers need to know that it is okay if they are not feeling okay all the time. Having honest conversations about the realities of this phase can make it easier to acknowledge difficult emotions instead of hiding them. Access to professional support should also be available without the fear of societal judgement or stigma. The arrival of a baby marks the beginning of a new chapter, but it is not a story about the baby alone. There is also a woman adjusting to an entirely new version of her life - and she deserves care, understanding and support too.
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