Valentine’s Day can feel louder than usual if you’re single. Even for people who are otherwise comfortable on their own, the day has a way of spotlighting relationship status. That spotlight can bring up mixed emotions. Sometimes loneliness. Sometimes comparison. Sometimes quiet self-doubt.
According to Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M) Psychotherapist, Life Alchemist, Coach & Healer, Founder & Director, Gateway of Healing, this emotional mix is more common than people assume. She explains that the key is not to force yourself into a particular emotional state, but to stay aware of what you are feeling instead of avoiding it. “The key is not to force yourself to feel a certain way, but to move through the day with awareness rather than avoidance,” she says.
Allow your emotions without judging them if you’re single on Valentine’s Day
One of the first things she advises is simple, though not always easy. Let yourself feel what shows up. “If you feel fine, that’s okay. If you feel low, that’s also okay,” Dr Tugnait notes. Many people, she adds, end up judging their own reactions, telling themselves they should feel happier or more ‘evolved’ by now. But emotional honesty tends to be far more regulating than forced positivity. Let the day be what it is, not what it is supposed to represent. Some people feel unaffected. Others do not. Both responses are valid.
Stay connected, but choose your circle mindfully if you’re single on Valentine’s Day
Another helpful approach is staying connected, intentionally. Dr Tugnait suggests reaching out to friends, family or people who make you feel grounded, rather than those who heighten comparison or pressure. Connection does not have to be romantic to hold meaning. Doing something nurturing, a walk, a workout, cooking a good meal, or even resting without guilt, sends the nervous system the message that you are safe and supported. Small acts of care can go a long way in stabilising emotions through the day.
Step back from social media comparison on Valentine’s Day
On the flip side, she cautions against spiralling into comparison. Especially online. “Social media can distort reality on Valentine’s Day, making it seem like everyone else is partnered and happy,” Dr Tugnait explains. Taking a break from scrolling can help protect emotional space. What we see online is curated, selective and often exaggerated. Constant exposure can deepen feelings of inadequacy that are not rooted in reality.
Avoid self-criticism and negative thoughts about being single on Valentine’s Day
Another pattern she flags is using the day to criticise oneself. Or to draw heavy conclusions about worth or the future. That mental spiral rarely helps. “Being single on one day says nothing about your lovability,” she emphasises. Relationship status on a single date cannot define personal value. Nor does it predict what lies ahead.
Reframing Valentine’s Day with self-respect when you’re single
At its core, Dr Tugnait underlines that being single on Valentine’s Day is not a failure state. It is simply a moment. One that can be navigated with emotional care rather than self-judgement. When approached with self-respect, the day can even become a reminder that your value is not dependent on who is sitting across the table from you. A perspective shift, quiet but grounding.
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