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I could high five God, but wasn't living to the fullest: Ricky Martin on his struggle to come out

"I would walk on stage to perform because that was the only way I could balance my emotion is to snap out of this heavy sadness that I was moving in.And then actually there came a moment that I said, 'We need to stop. We need to stop the tour'," he added.

PTI PTI
New Delhi Published on: July 14, 2020 15:48 IST
I could high five God, but wasn't living to the fullest: Ricky Martin on his struggle to come out
Image Source : INSTAGRAM/RICKY MARTIN

I could high five God, but wasn't living to the fullest: Ricky Martin on his struggle to come out

In the late 1990s, singer Ricky Martin was at the peak of his career, enjoying series of chartbusters and global fame. But the musician has now revealed that he was "depressed" during those days as he was struggling to publicly open up about his sexuality.

The Puerto Rican singer was on his famous 'Livin' La Vida Loca' tour in 1999 when he decided he had to take some time off and focus on his emotional well-being.

"The world was giving me back the hours that I had put into music, the hours that I had put into this career. I was the king of the world. My music was being heard all over the world, regardless of the language. I could high five God, but I wasn't living to the fullest I was sad. I was depressed," Martin said during an appearance on Proud Radio on Apple Music.

"I would walk on stage to perform because that was the only way I could balance my emotion is to snap out of this heavy sadness that I was moving in.And then actually there came a moment that I said, 'We need to stop. We need to stop the tour'," he added.

The 48-year-old singer recalled that it was during the Australian leg of the 'Livin' La Vida Loca' tour when he decided that he "can't do this" to himself anymore.

"We were going to go to South America. And I said, 'I can't. I can't do this. I need to go home. I need silence. I need to cry. I need to be angry. I need to forgive myself for allowing myself to reach this level, to get to where I'm at'. And I took some time and I took a sabbatical.

People close to Martin, including his family and friends, were aware about his sexuality, but the singer went public with his orientation in 2010 in a statement posted on his website.

Prior to that, while writing his memoir "Me: Ricky Martin", the Latin pop star said he cried like "crazy" as he was finally free to feel the way he wanted to.

"I got to the place I was fighting as I was writing my book between saying, 'Am I gay? Am I bisexual? Am I gay? Am I bisexual? And either is okay, just go within and do not lie to yourself. And then I said, 'Rick, you are a very fortunate homosexual man. You are gay'. And I wrote it and I pressed send, and then I cried like crazy. And I've been super happy ever since.

"Martin is married to Jwan Yosef, a Syrian-Swedish painter. The duo started dating in 2016 and tied the knot in the next year.

They are parents to daughter Lucia (one-and-a-half years) and son Renn (eight months).

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